Purity's Pearl

Purity’s Pearl

God, my pearl I’ve given You,
Help my pearl stay pure and true.
Lord, that pearl keep tucked away
Untill You decide the perfect day.

Lord polish it and keep it well,
It’s our secret, I won’t tell.
Lord let it be the choicest jewel
As my heart falls beneath Your tools.

Let my heart become the chest,
And with Your grace may it be blest;
To produce a small and velvet case,
That will be my pearls special place.

With that jewel so tucked away,
My heart the chest where it will lay,
Lord I know, I understand,
I’ve put them both into Your hand.

And while I wait upon Your time,
I’ll polish that pearl most sublime,
And You, I know, will search the land,
For a godly, Christian man.

Who You will deem worthy for my pearl,
Because he too has kept his pearl.
Then with a smile You’ll give him my heart,
And gladly I and it shall part.

Then both our pearls upon silk thread,
Will be placed over our child’s head.
But joyous though that day would be,
Perhaps that’s not Your will for me.

You’d rather keep my pearl enclosed
In the petals of loves un-bloomed rose.
You’d rather take my hand in thine,
And have me know I’m wholly thine.

My pearl You’ll set within a ring
For me to wear for You my King!
Your love the only I will know,
Your way the only I will go.

You’d rather my heart be kept in Your hand,
And Lord I know, I understand!
So whatever Your will, let it be done.
I will follow whichever one.

If You should choose a partner for me,
I’ll not struggle with uncertainty.
And if You alone will keep my heart,
From that way I won’t pine to depart.

Whichever way You choose to give,
For You my God, I’ll joyfully live.
So here’s the pearl within my heart,
I’ll wait on You to keep or part

The love that rests inside of me
To give to one, or keep with Thee.
So without more words or further ado,
Until You say differently, my heart’s with You.
                               
                                       - A. L.
　

   

Lord there are days I feel so close to You and You are so real and so dear to me. I feel Your peace and Your joy and Your love in my heart and You are such a wonder to me. On those days it's easy to thank You, it's easy to live for You and to honor You to surrender. But some days, like today, I don't feel You. It seems as if You are hiding Your face from me and I can't seem to find You anywhere. I feel so alone and lost. My prayers seem to fall on deaf ears and I begin to beleive satan's lies that You don't hear or care. That I am as worthless as I feel sometimes and I can never do anything right. But Jesus; it's in those moments I need to live by fact not feeling. I need to cling to Your promises that You will never leave me nor forsake me. That I am indeed Your daughter, beloved of God. But sometimes Jesus......it's so hard to beleive. So hard to trust.

Self Acceptance

 

Self Acceptance. Now there is something I never thought that I struggled with until recently. How, why, where....I don't really know. It could of come from rejection from my biological father, or rejection from my dad, or peers, or anything, but the point is, I have an issue. My height.
Being a fourth of Philippine makes me short like a Philippine and yes....that bothers me. Also the fact that I look 12 when in reality I am 16 only adds insult to injury. But God knows my silly little preferences and decided I needed to stop my whining. Maybe one day He'll use my shortness for something or maybe I can minister to other "shorties" with sympathy, :) But either case, He decided to send me a word of rebuke at Ephrata Missions Conference last week.
One of the speakers there, told a story about a silly little woman who came to him in tears over her height (or lack thereof). When I heard the story, I laughed with the rest, though from the laughing glances I got from my sister and friends, I realised that I was just as silly. I don't think I'd ever go crying to a pastor, but I do complain a LOT about the "inconvenience" of being so short and "baby-faced".
I need to learn to accept the fact that God gave me my height and my appearance and I ought to be thankful to Him that I am healthy and redeemed and His daughter. It doesn't matter if I'm not tall and "beautiful" in others eyes, because I am beautiful to Him. Who cares if my nose is round and my face is round, and I am round. It's not how I look, it's how I am. Am I a godly young lady who is serving God in purity and humility, a true handmaiden of the Lord? Am I showing His love to others and reaching out of my "comfort zone"? Am I beautiful by HIS standards?
The outward appearance is NOT to be top priority, because if it is, it becomes so easy to stop accepting yourself for who God made you to be, and to start trying to become who you are not.
And that is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. Rather, I want to push toward the mark, developing inward beauty, and winning souls for Him along the way. To become a perfect work of righteousness and beauty in Him. May I by His grace overcome.   -A. M. L.                  
                                                                                                                         

I'm Begging You Lord

I'm Begging You Lord

Here I am Lord, on my knees, tears streaming.
Crying, begging to be restored
To the closeness to Thee that I am dreaming.
I'm begging You Lord.

It seems so long ago joy was overflowing,
Your peace on me out poured.
Now I feel far away from all I was knowing,
I'm begging You Lord.

Create in me a clean heart, Oh my God,
Do not Thy Spirit withdraw.
Restore unto me the Joy of Thee, O God,
I'm begging You Lord.

Jesus come and rekindle Your flame in me,
Renew, remake, restore.
Cause me to become a light, a witness for Thee,
I'm begging You Lord.

Without You I am nothing, a shell to collapse.
Fill me, Lord I implore,
With Thy righteous Spirit my life impact.
I'm begging You Lord.

Oh God, make me to love, make me to forgive
Make me to patiently endure.
Through all my life for Thee my King to live,
I'm begging You Lord.   - A. M. L.

                                         

Bless The Lord, O My Soul

"Bless the Lord, O my soul." (Psalm 103:1a) My favorite passage of scripture. It's such a simple phrase, but it's the Word of God and it carries an amazing message and so much power and victory. When I'm going through a rough time and it seems as if everything is so hard and I'm not going to make it, just saying this verse blesses me with a new strength and victory in surrender. To be able to say in the most trying times, "bless the Lord" gives me courage. It reminds me that no matter what happens, the Lord is in control and He is looking out for me and doing all for my best. That He knows exactly what I'm feeling while I'm feeling it, that He understands, He loves, He cares. That I can "bless the Lord" because He never let go. He NEVER lets go. So why worry? Why fear? Just "Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name."  -A.M.L.